Jain families usually look for a match that shares their sect, their food practices and their way of religious life, along with the education, values and family background any family would want. Sect means Digambar or Shwetambar, and within Shwetambar, Murtipujak, Sthanakvasi or Terapanthi. Food means a vegetarian kitchen, and often more, such as avoiding root vegetables or not eating after sunset. Many families also care about sub-community. The single most useful thing is to find out how strictly each family follows these practices, because that varies a great deal from one Jain home to the next.
Why does sect matter in a Jain match?
The two main Jain sects are Digambar and Shwetambar. Within the Shwetambar tradition there are Murtipujak, Sthanakvasi and Terapanthi families. These traditions differ in temple worship, in the monks and sadhvis a family follows, and in some daily practices.
Many families prefer a match within their own sect, because it means the same temple customs and festivals at home. Others are open to a match across sects when the households live in a similar way. Neither choice is wrong. It simply helps to decide early which your family is open to.
What food practices do Jain families follow?
Vegetarianism is a core Jain practice, and it is assumed in any Jain search. Beyond that, practices differ from family to family. Some of the most common are listed below.
- No root vegetables. Many families avoid onion, garlic, potato, carrot and other root vegetables, out of care for the many small lives in them.
- Not eating after sunset. Some families finish their last meal before sunset, every day or on certain days. In the stricter form, called chauvihar, nothing is taken after sunset, not even water.
- Observances such as Paryushana. Paryushana is an important annual period of fasting, prayer and forgiveness, and families observe it with different levels of fasting.
- Other practices. Some families also follow particular rules on certain tithis, avoid certain foods or keep regular samayik.
One family may follow all of these strictly at home and relax a little when travelling. Another may keep only a vegetarian kitchen. A third may have one generation that is strict and another that is more flexible. None of this is a judgement on anyone’s faith. It is simply how the home runs.
How strictly does each family follow these practices?
This is the question that matters most in practice. A girl who has grown up in a home with no root vegetables and early dinners may find it hard in a home where neither is followed, and the reverse is also true. The same applies to a jamai who will spend festivals with his in-laws.
It is better to be honest about your own family than to describe how you would like to be seen. If you are strict at home but flexible outside, say so. If your son eats outside food at work, say that too. A match built on accurate information has a far better chance of lasting.
Does sub-community still matter?
For many families it does. Jain sub-communities include Oswal, Porwal, Shrimal, Humad, Khandelwal and Agarwal Jain families, spread across Rajasthan, Gujarat, Maharashtra, Kolkata and abroad. Some parents ask for a match within their own sub-community first.
Other families care more about sect and practice than about sub-community, and are happy to widen the search. If your family is open to that, mention it at the start. It often brings in good proposals that a narrow search would miss. Our Jain matrimony page lists the sects and sub-communities we work with.
Why discuss all this before the families meet?
Food and religious practice are much easier to talk about before the first meeting than after the boy and girl have started to like each other. If two families find out late that their kitchens run very differently, someone ends up disappointed.
So it helps to cover the basics early. Share your sect, your food practices, how you observe Paryushana and other festivals, and whether you are open to small differences. Ask the other family the same. If the answers fit, the first meeting can focus on the boy and girl themselves.
Do Jain families match kundlis?
Some Jain families do and some don’t, and both approaches deserve respect. Families who follow kundli usually look at the Guna Milan, or Ashtakoota, score out of 36, where 18 or more is traditionally considered acceptable, along with a Manglik check. Astrologers sometimes differ on the finer points, so it is best to ask your own pandit if a question comes up.
Families who don’t follow kundli decide on values, practice and family background instead. If your family does not follow kundli, say so at the start, and proposals will not be filtered on it. You can read how the traditional matching works on our kundli matching page.
How we handle this at Pavitra Rishta
At the first meeting, your Relationship Manager asks about your sect, food practices and religious observance along with education and family background. Before a proposal reaches you, the other family is asked the same questions, so you see only the few profiles that fit. Every proposal is kundli matched, and families who don’t follow kundli can opt out. Your details are shared with another family only with your permission.
If your family is looking for a Jain match, call us on +91 93303 22220 or schedule a call with our team. We have worked with Jain families from our Kolkata office since 2006, and we will start by listening to how your home runs.
Questions families ask
Can a Digambar and a Shwetambar family agree to a match?
Yes, if both families are comfortable with it. Some families prefer to stay within their own sect, while others are open to the other sect as long as food habits and religious practice at home are similar. The best approach is to say clearly at the start whether your family is open to it, so that proposals from the other sect are shown only when both sides are willing.
Is it a problem if the other family eats root vegetables and we do not?
It can be, so it is worth raising early. Many Jain families avoid onion, garlic, potato and other root vegetables, and some are flexible about it outside the home. What matters is whether the new bahu or jamai will be comfortable with the kitchen they marry into. Ask the other family how strictly they follow it, and share your own practice honestly.
Do Jain families match kundlis?
Some do and some don't. A number of Jain families match kundlis before meeting, looking at the Guna Milan score out of 36 and the Manglik status. Others do not follow kundli at all and decide on family, values and practice. Both are valid choices. Tell your matchmaker which your family prefers, so the search is set up that way from the beginning.
How do we ask another family about their religious practice without seeming rude?
Ask simply and share your own practice first. For example, tell them your family keeps a vegetarian kitchen without root vegetables and observes Paryushana, then ask what they follow. People are usually glad to talk about their own traditions when the question comes with respect. A matchmaker can also ask these questions on your behalf before the first meeting.